Posts Tagged ‘Advice’
Affording the Right Level of Autonomy
How much autonomy is appropriate to give? Empowering our children, employees, or anyone we’re leading is, we know, the best way to improve satisfaction, motivation, and commitment – but it also takes the right style and balance to pull it off successfully.
Do you tend to micromanage others: monitoring even the most routine tasks to ensure success (even if it’s done in the most gentle, people-friendly way)? Or do you allow others to express their creativity, make their own decisions, and learn from trial and error? Or do you do a bit of both, depending on the person and circumstance?
Chances are your answer is the latter: that’s what most of tend to do as leaders, and it’s probably the right thing. This is where our intuition comes in: we adjust our style based on what we see, what we know, and how we feel – as well as how we perceive the weight and probability of the potential outcomes.
But we all know people who micromanage when it’s unnecessary, as well as those who tend to give full rein when it might be inappropriate to do so.
So why might we micromanage when it’s not necessary? Often times it’s because we haven’t learned to trust – or because we don’t feel we can handle the stress inherent in ‘letting go’. And why might we give unbridled freedom when it may not be appropriate? It’s usually because we have blind spots: because we have too much faith either in others’ abilities to respond adaptively; or in the system or task itself to provide the structures and cues to keep behaviours in check.
Whether our belief system generally supports a more or less autocratic, participative, or free-rein style of leadership is largely a matter of personality and habit: preferred and comfortable ways of leading based upon our past experiences – either directly or through observation – and the interpretations we’ve made about those experiences.
The truth is that what’s needed in any given situation is more objective than subjective. It’s the interplay between the complexity and characteristics of the task itself, and the interpersonal styles, habits, and skills of the people we’re leading. The key is to observe these dynamics in play before jumping to an automatic style of leading the situation and players.
If we learn to provide more ‘management’ where it is needed, and to back off where we should, we allow others to experience increased feelings of efficacy and success – which strengthen the internal reward system that fosters motivation. Appropriate levels of autonomy also support and enable more effective skill development, critical thought, and innovation.
Creating a Space
There is much written about motivation and how to achieve and keep it. Unfortunately, motivation is one of those things that easily elude us. Where does motivation come from? How do we get it and make it stick? Can we really do or say anything to motivate another person if it has to come from within?
These are hard questions with no easy answers. The truth is that we need to find what works for us personally, and what style of motivating matches the others person’s values and desires. Google ‘Motivation’, pick a couple of tools, and try them out. And it’s important to remember that once you’ve got it yourself, that doesn’t mean its here to stay: we need to keep working on our motivation whenever the need comes up. We have to renew it constantly and work hard at it (the irony is that we have to be motivated to stay motivated!)
So it’s not an easy thing, but as I mentioned, there are some tools to help draw out that elusive drive from within. One of the things that works for me is to ensure that my environment is set up in a way that helps my motivation rather than hinder it.
For example, like many of us, exercise is the tough one for me. I’m not much of a ‘get up and go to the gym’ type of person, and so I’d rather keep in shape at home. I have the bench and weights, elliptical trainer, and yoga mat – but unfortunately they’ve experienced a lot of darkness and dust over the years.
Fairly recently, however, I’ve created a space that actually makes me want to be there; and that’s made all the difference in the world. I painted the walls in the ‘exercise room’ and put a little stereo in there, as well as a couch and TV: all the comforts of home, so to speak (of course you can go too far: if I also decided to go with the beer fridge, for example, the exercise plan might have gone down the drain!)
So now I’m back on track and it feels good – and it really didn’t cost much.
Where can you ‘create a space’? Think about your home or work environment, for instance: is it cluttered and dull, or is it a clean, organized, exhilarating and inspiring place to be? ‘Exhilarating’ may sound like an exaggeration when you’re thinking of a workspace, but it’s really not: read about colour and aroma therapies, for example – there’s some good research to back these up (or even feng shui if that’s your thing; although the evidence on that one is rather lacking).
And remember, a cluttered environment makes for a cluttered mind. There are some good professional organizers out here who can help, if this isn’t your strength – don’t be afraid to use the resources available.
And don’t forget to change it up periodically: we habituate to our surroundings after awhile, and so we need to keep it fresh to keep those neurons stimulated!
Surround Yourself With The Right People
I ran into some old friends last weekend, and immediately I felt a new sense of energy – catching my ‘second wind’ after a rather tiring morning. I think this happened for two reasons: one, simply because I was happy to see them, and two, because they’re very successful.
I won’t get into the types of successes they’ve achieved, because that’s irrelevant: we all carry different definitions of success in different areas (finance, health, leadership, relationships, all of the above…). The point is that these people make me want to be my best.
I’ve taken many positive steps on many levels, simply because of my social affiliations: whether it’s because of the bits of wisdom I picked up through their conversations, or because I observed their actions and successes – which made me want to do the same, or simply because I felt good in their presence (positive psychology research tells us, not surprisingly, that we’re just plain more effective in every aspect when we’re feeling good).
So who do you surround yourself with? Who contributes to your happiness and success by just ‘being there’?
And on the other side of the coin, I’m sure we can all relate to the opposite. Who brings you down through their negativity? Who doesn’t set the bar high enough for themselves or for you? Who around you settles for mediocrity, and how does this affect your sense of drive and hope?
We can’t always choose all of the people in our lives, of course, but we can exercise discretion with the choices we are able to make. Who are you now, and where are you going? What kinds of people do you need in your life to help pave the way?
And, of course, all this isn’t to say that we shouldn’t be caring, helping, and supportive people – but it’s really about how we manage the flow of energy. Are you often left feeling depleted because you give out more than you receive – or do you have a strong reciprocal flow and reserve of positive energy in your life?
Just Keep Trying
Thomas Edison once said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up”.
Think about the meaning of that statement for a moment. Really.
Imagine pouring hours upon hours of effort and hope into something important to you – then giving it all up when you hit that certain level of discouragement.
Imagine what sort of stories of denial and rationalization you might create in order to explain the whole effort away to yourself and others: to minimize its weight in order to save you from embarrassment. Or of the dreadful feelings of precious time wasted. Or of the realization that you were wrong – that you were not as competent as you had hoped. Or of the feelings of frustration, depression, and loss…
Or maybe you’ve already done this. The truth is that people do it all the time.
But what if we were destined to reach our goal the very next day after we decided to quit? It’s impossible to ever know, of course, but it is a very real possibility.
We all know the story of Thomas Edison’s failures, perseverance, and ultimate successes – but, unfortunately, stories like these often tend to inspire us for the moment but have no real lasting impact (or worse yet, we become desensitized to them so that they carry no real impact for us at all anymore).
So, again, think seriously about this quote for a moment. What could it mean for your life and your journey? What do you really want? When have you quit and (falsely) rationalized the whole effort away? Where do sometimes feel like just throwing in the towel? Or where do you keep justifying your decision to not get started on that one special thing?
The good news is that we can avoid the pain of failure by never ceasing to try.
And even if we were to die trying, then at least we’d have died on a path to success. And isn’t that better than looking back at the end of it all and saying, “what if”?
Leadership, Life, and the New Age
I was feeling a little out of balance this morning when I noticed my old meditation mat in the corner gather dust. And as I sat for a few minutes in silence I remembered why I don’t meditate as often as I’d like. This prompted me to go online to search for a ‘guided meditation’ MP3: something to keep my thoughts and ears occupied to help me through the awkward sitting part.
I found a Chakra meditation – 16 minutes long, which I figured would do the trick. As it was downloading I was struck by the title of the file, New-Age something or other. I had a brief ‘gut reaction’ and reflected on why New Age has gotten somewhat of a bad rap. I think it’s because the whole idea has been tainted by some practices that have not been validated in any way; either by our Western scientific standards or by long-held traditions of truth and understanding. And I thought it a shame that something like Kundalini (Chakra) meditation, with such a long history of practice – an Old-Age tradition, one might say, might be lumped in with some of the more questionable new-age ideas and practices.
My point is to not ‘throw the baby out with the bathwater’. As successful, happy individuals, we need to be healthy and balanced.
I don’t claim to know anything about Kundalini Yoga, or any other ‘old-age’ practices, but what I do know is that I live in an age where these rich traditions and practices are available to me at a touch of a button, and that I possess the technologies and tools to help me stay balanced and effective on all levels. I also know that I can stay mindful of trying to separate the wheat from the chaff in my efforts to do so…